This Is Art

Do you like my art

What art

This here

What where



My boots

Those boots

Yeah these ones

On your feet

That’s it

They’re your boots though innit

Yeah there my art

I like yours

My what

Your art

What art

That custard tart there

That’s my afternoon tea though innit

Yeah…your art


Is it radical?

Are we radical yet?

Was it radical?

How radical was it?

We kicked a dog into a bucket of baked beans

We flew a metal kite in an electrical storm

Are we radical?

Is it radical yet?


I watched the drops


Forming piles of rain

In a cliché that

had no market value


and Non-progressive

And the piles where puddles anyway


Image by Faith Goble

Friendly Fascists in Guangdong Province

On the monkey bars of our enormous, modern duplex of a playground in the fifth grade, I can distinctly remember swinging and falling down for hours a day, sandbark in my knees, grass in my hair – as usual there’s only my best friend Bec and I. Perfectly self-sufficient in our competitiveness, we impressed each other easily. We climbed, came back bruised, and had a complete monopoly over the structure. Bec had a white-blond undercut; I was impressively chubby and we both had motorbikes. For some reason this innocent memory came to me one morning last week while I was sitting at the back of a stinky classroom watching a seminar on motivating stinky teenagers.


Hey baby – wanna be a table tonight?

Sexual arousal is the urge for sexual desire during or in anticipation of sexual activity. Now, porn is usually the go when it comes to getting the juices going, but not everyone believes a well-directed video with Oscar-deserving actors engaging in sexual acts is enough. Sometimes a little bondage is the way to a person’s heart, and to the root of their fetishes. One type of bondage that allows you to get into the mind and soul of furniture is forniphilia. Yes. That’s right; people get off by turning themselves and their sexual partners into furniture.

ASMR Makes Lingering Tingles

I’m not quite sure what it is about the freaky things that people do. It feels like we’ve seen it all: men getting their bits stuck in their car’s exhaust after making sweet love to it, people adding a dollop of Vicks Vaporub in their tea, toilet paper eating and the almost demonic reaction after someone cancels their World of Warcraft account (find it on YouTube – you won’t be disappointed).

Forever Alone? Get Off to Some Fan Fiction

The realisation came to me as soon as I took the cling wrap covered meat from my local Coles supermarket; it was on special for $10, but I'm pretty sure I couldn’t eat four cuts of porterhouse steak on my own. Sigh.