When is Sex not Sex? That’s not only a vague way to start an article – it’s also quite a thought provoking question. Let me elaborate. I’ve seen sex on the internet, I’ve heard my house mates have sex through the walls, hell I’ve even had sex myself. Yet still I don’t have a definitive personal answer as to just what constitutes sex. Not what physical acts are specifically needed, but instead what context is required for the resulting act to be termed ‘sex’?
The first time I ever heard the word ‘polyamory’, it was very late at night. I was about 15, and I was watching a program on YouTube about people who have sex with animals. A very fat woman with long curly red hair was gushingly describing her sexual relationship with her horse as a ‘polyamorous relationship’. She also had a husband – an American human like her. They found love through their rare and taboo common experiences with animals. If someone had whispered into my ear at that moment that I would myself be in a polyamorous relationship in the not too distant future, I might have been a little bit intrigued, but also felt pretty sick before the questions set in.
As someone who doesn’t speak from a history of extensive intimate relationships, I want to issue an explicit disclaimer before I rattle on that if I misplace my words, we should all blame my naivete, not me. Having said that, I give the best relationship advice that I know of; usually this is just the very obvious solution that those involved are too emotionally blinded to see.
We are living in the golden age of information, where everything you need to know is a click away on a computer screen.
Don Jon is a film is about a guy who has everything going for him. He’s got the body, the girl, the car, and the looks, so getting sex is not an issue. But for him, nothing beats a good porno. So much so that even after a night of doing the horizontal tango he’ll sneak away and press play. When his girl of the moment finds out he still watches porn – apparently a juvenile thing to do – they break up. She believes watching porn is, like, surhhh disgusting. This got me thinking, is it cheating if you watch porn and masturbate to it if you’re in a relationship?